Help for When You Feel Unappreciated at Work
Maintaining motivation at work can be tough in the best of times, but when you feel that your hard work and efforts are going unnoticed—or worse yet—unappreciated, it can be nearly impossible. A pat on the back or a simple "great job" from management can go a long way toward making employees feel valued at work. But in some workplaces, those congratulatory and confidence-boosting moments can be few and far between.
“No matter what kind of business or company it is, employees need appreciation and positive feedback to perform better,” says Lea McMahon, Ed.D., L.P.C., a psychology professor and corporate compliance professional based in Houston. “A lack of a reward system can, sometimes, make us lose our very precious and talented employees.”
According to a Gallup analysis, only 1 in 3 employees in the United States and Germany strongly agree that they received recognition or praise for their work within the last seven days. What’s more, those who indicated they hadn't received recognition or praise were twice as likely to say they would quit within the next year.
“For employees to feel motivated, they need to know they're on the right track, and that a higher-up is noticing even small details in progress or level of skills,” says Haley Perlus, Ph.D., a performance coach based in Canada. “Knowing that we're excelling and recognized by our peers or supervisors gives us a positive boost to self-esteem that carries over to how we view ourselves in other aspects of our life.”
What to Do When You Feel Unappreciated at Work
If you're feeling invisible after putting in extra hours to meet a deadline, or your stellar report failed to elicit any praise or comment, there are simple ways to get the feedback and acknowledgment you need to get by, and ultimately thrive, in your job.
Make Time for One-on-One Meetings
Meeting individually with your manager is crucial for not only forging a positive working relationship but also getting the recognition you want and deserve.
Managers can be so busy, and often it's a time crunch that gets in the way of them providing praise or constructive feedback, Perlus explains. By sitting face to face—or Zoom window to Zoom window—you can have a focused conversation about your work and your needs so you can show up as your best self at work.
If one-on-one meetings aren’t already part of your regular schedule, make an effort to get them on the calendar weekly or monthly.
Get to Know Your Manager’s Leadership Style
Everyone has different communication and leadership styles, and taking them into consideration can help you better understand why you may be feeling unappreciated at work.
“Some folks are lucky to have very energetic, team-building, mentoring bosses. Other bosses remain tucked away and removed from their employees, not just physically, but in terms of accessibility,” Perlus says.
Getting to know your manager’s habits—like when and how they share feedback, whether they're more introverted or extroverted, and whether they prefer to acknowledge your team as a whole or quietly give kudos to individuals—can help you level your expectations and meet your boss where they are. Plus, you may get a better idea of when and how to seek feedback.
Don’t Wait to Celebrate Your Wins
At the end of the day, your validation from within is what’s most important. Try shifting your mindset from one that seeks external validation to one that offers yourself unwavering self-acceptance.
Don’t wait for someone else to tell you that you did a good job. “Cherish your achievements and appreciate yourself for every milestone and success,” McMahon says. You can keep it as simple as writing down a few things you did well that day, or acknowledging your wins by giving yourself small rewards, anything from a latte at a local coffee shop to that new clothing item or gadget you’ve been eyeing.
Share Your Kudos
Creating an environment where everyone feels valued at work can start with you. Make it a habit to recognize your team members for their work, and don’t hesitate to share your gratitude when they go out of their way to help out or take the lead on a particularly stressful project.
After all, gratitude is known to serve as a “social glue” that inspires stronger relationships as well as generosity and helpfulness. Start acknowledging those around you—you may notice a positive chain reaction unfold.
Ask for What You Need
It’s difficult to be in a situation where you’re feeling unappreciated at work. But often in life, getting what you need requires asking for what you want—and that includes your career.
“If you're not offered a review within a six-month time frame, ask," Perlus says. "Let your supervisor know that you're eager to receive feedback so that you can not only meet but exceed expectations.”
You can ask for feedback on a more regular basis by asking your manager, “What should I start, stop, and continue doing?” It’s also okay to specifically ask for positive feedback. According to an article published by Harvard Business Review, you could go about that by asking for input on a project you know was successful.
When all else fails, an honest and direct conversation could help more than you realize. Although it can be difficult to be vulnerable at work, telling your manager that you’re struggling to feel seen and heard could open a door to more recognition.
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